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The second line of the Litany of Humility is perhaps the most piercing:
“From the desire of being loved, deliver me, O Jesus.”
At first it seems strange — are we not made for love? Doesn’t God Himself command us to love and be loved? Yet here the litany calls us not to reject true charity, but to be freed from the inordinate desire of human affection that can eclipse the love of God.
St. Thomas Aquinas explains:
“Man’s happiness is not found in the love of human friendship, but in the love of God. For created goods are to be loved for God’s sake, but God is to be loved for His own sake.” (Summa Theologiae, II-II, q.26, a.3)
Thus, when we ask to be delivered from the desire of being loved, we are asking Christ to purify our hearts — to prefer divine love to every human attachment.
The saints—both East and West—teach us how to let go of the need to be loved, so that we may rest secure in God’s eternal love alone.
Eastern Witness: St. Mary of Egypt
St. Mary of Egypt (5th century) knew what it was to chase love in all the wrong places. Her early life was marked by sinful passions, seductions, and the desperate need for affection that enslaves so many hearts. Yet after her conversion in Jerusalem, she fled into the desert where for forty-seven years she lived alone in penance.
Mary was not remembered by anyone. She was not cared for, not sought out, not surrounded by companions. And yet, she discovered in that radical solitude that the love of Christ was enough. When the monk Zosimas met her at the end of her life, she radiated divine love precisely because she had been delivered from the human craving to be loved. Her life is a living commentary on this line of the Litany.
Western Witness: St. Francis of Assisi
St. Francis (13th century) had every reason to seek human affection. Born into a wealthy family, surrounded by friends, he loved revelry and companionship. Yet, once Christ called him, Francis surrendered all—family ties, the esteem of friends, even the love of comfort—for the sake of God.
He embraced Lady Poverty as his bride. To the world, this looked like madness. He lost the affection of his father and was often treated with suspicion by society. But Francis shows us that in losing the love of men, he found the burning love of Christ crucified. “My God and my all!” was his cry, echoing the Litany’s plea to be free of lesser loves.
Love Redirected to God
The saints remind us that the desire to be loved is not evil in itself—God placed it in our hearts. But when we demand that others fill this need, we risk disappointment, resentment, or even idolatry. Christ alone satisfies.
- St. Mary of Egypt teaches us that God’s love can heal and replace even the most twisted desires for affection.
- St. Francis teaches us that renouncing human approval allows divine love to flood the soul.
In both cases, the saints were not left empty, but overflowing—so much so that others were drawn to them, paradoxically loved by the world once they no longer needed it.
Prayer
Lord Jesus, You are Love itself. Deliver me from the restless desire to be loved by others, that I may be satisfied in Your eternal embrace. Teach me with Mary of Egypt to prefer solitude with You over the affection of men, and with Francis to embrace poverty and rejection for Your sake. May Your love be my all, now and forever.
From the desire of being loved, deliver me, O Jesus.
